I woke up this morning and realized that yesterday wasn’t a dream.
My beloved co-worker–we’ll call her Deena–came to my desk around lunchtime. “Come take a walk with me.”
She was always bright and cheery, and even now she wore a slight smile on her face. She sat me down in a conference room, drew her lips into a sympathetic smile, and said,
“Take a deep breath.”
Well, I can’t say I was terribly shocked, but my first thoughts were, “How am I going to pay all of my bills? My student loans? Rent? My car insurance? Will I have to move home? How will I do this?”
I could barely hear a word Deena was saying, the panic in my head was so loud. But then, I looked up at her through tear-filled eyes, and felt something that I desperately needed to feel: a wave of relief. Though I loved my coworkers dearly, I was miserable at that job. Being stuck in a building for eight hours a day, in front of a computer, working on projects I wasn’t even remotely passionate about… this wasn’t who I am. I packed up my things, and just like in the movies, carried my box out of the building without so much as a backwards glance.
My First Day Being Unemployed
It is day one of my unemployment, and I’m nervous, and scared, and sad, and relieved. I have a bit of a stomachache, probably due to stress, and I desperately want to be working. Writing this is helping me to feel productive, and I’m feeling thankful that I have a creative outlet that I can take anywhere with me.
I’m planning on getting things together to apply for unemployment, then taking today as a recovery day. I’ve been job searching for the past eight months; I need to re-center myself and figure out what I really want to do.
Things I’m Telling Myself
- This is a sign. You need this time. Figure out what you truly want to do.
- You can find ways to be productive other than working. Don’t make yourself feel like a failure.
- This is not your fault. This happens very often. You will be okay.
- Take care of your body. Take care of your mind.
- You are talented and driven. Meaningful work will find you.
- You will be okay.
- Everything will be okay.
Things I Know To Be True
- I am driven, and I won’t be in this situation for long.
- Success will be a part of my life; I won’t allow anything less.
- My talents are valued, and I will find a way to utilize them.
- Writing is in my heart. If I can continue to write, I will be happy.
- I have an amazing support system, and I am not alone.
- I will be okay.
- Everything will be okay.
Things I Will Do Now
- Concentrate on my job hunt.
- Think about what I really want to do.
- Exercise: get back into running, practice yoga often.
- Talk with my support system; no need to be strong in front of them.
- Meditate often.
- Be gentle with myself.
- Remain positive.
This is going to be a challenge for me, but I know I can make it through. Worrying will do me no good, so might as well embrace this in-between, just as I have for so many things in my life! I’ll be chronicling my thoughts here, and I do hope you’ll follow along.
Have you been unemployed or laid off? I’d love to hear your experiences, and any advice you may have. Comment below!